How to review your relationships in 4 easy ways

Mária Nagy
3 min readOct 18, 2021

And have a better life and mental health.

In the COVID-19 world, many people (like myself) are reviewing their lives and the quality of their relationships, be it family, friends or romantic. With the restrictions involving “bubbles” at one point, many people were required to choose only one person to socialise with. For those who have a small circle, this was probably an easier decision, for others, this might have required a bit more reflection and thinking. If you feel like you might benefit from better relationships to enhance your wellbeing, please keep reading!

Photo by Ilyuza Mingazova on Unsplash

1. Reflection, reflection, reflection!

Good relationships starts with you. So before you do anything else, it is important that you reflect on yourself. Ask yourself the questions: How am I as a friend/partner/family member? Would I be happy with what I have to provide? What qualities do I have to offer and what am I lacking?

This not only helps you understand what aspects of your relationships to develop, but it helps you build-self awareness and get to know yourself better as a person. Taking ownership is always a positive quality in a person, no matter the situation.

Then, reflect on what the other person is offering. Do they make you feel secure, supported and assured? Identify what areas of the relationships require development to be able to address this effectively with them.

2. Be more connected

And I do not mean online. These days everyone is constantly messaging on various platforms, however, how easy may it sound, it is important to stay connected on a personal level. Schedule in-person meetings — even a quick coffee helps- on a regular basis and do your best to stick to this plan.

This does not only help you keep your relationship with the other person more secure by forming experiences together and allows bonding, but you show the other person that you are reliable and keep your word, which creates a sense of security and makes them feel supported. Use this time to find out more about their lives, goals and dreams.

3. Be conscious about your relationships.

Decide what kind of people you want to surround yourself with and make a conscious effort to select people wisely. Eventually, the people you surround yourself will define you as well and it is easier to live a more fulfilled life if you surround yourself with people similar to yourself.

Now, I can hear you say “But you can’t choose your family!”. And it is true. But you can decide how often you communicate with family members who do not align with your values, morals and minimise the impact they might have on you. This does not necessarily mean you have to cut contact with them, but you can reduce contact as much as you like.

4. Be truthful and honest

While this is a really obvious point, it might be the most important one. It is important to be honest and truthful with your social circles, but most importantly: be honest and truthful with yourself. Think about how the relationship in question serves you: does it bring out the best from both of you? Is it constructive and positive relationship? If not, you have to be brutally honest with yourself: is this something that can be worked on? If not, it might be time to cut ties. I know it sounds drastical, but if 2020 and 2021 taught us anything, it is that there is no point in wasting time on negative relationships.

It overlaps with the first point, and requires a lot of reflection to be able to identify positive and negative areas and be able to work on it — or decide to let go, how difficult it might be.

Overall, we are all trying to achieve a better personal life and hopefully, with the above tips, you will be able to be more conscious and happy in your life.

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Mária Nagy

Politics, equality, feminism and everything else.